Dear Me,
How are you these days?
This morning, I woke up recalling a gathering of some friends after the car crash. A group of friends from our university years. Years after, they still all meet regularly. Unfortunately, we now live a little further away, so we don’t show up for most meetings. Anyway, about two years after the car crash, they all came for a weekend reasonably close to our house, and I, you, decided to make an effort and drive to see them.
Gaps. Totally different perceptions of life. Amazing, loving, open friends. No words.
I sat there with them. I tried to participate in the chat. I tried to embrace their care and love, even if it was with suggestions that were in no way related to the reality I, you, were living at the time. Then, after about no more than an hour and a half, after not seeing them for so long, I had to get home.
Home. The familiar protective walls. The comfort of my home clothing. The food I could eat.
Home. Where no games were played. No smiles were smiled when they were not meant. Where I could be in bed, rest on the couch, do, or just be. No judgment. No expectations. No awkwardness.
I’m sure that as much as they were all delighted to see me, they all saw the gap that had been created and were relieved when I left—not needing to adjust their rhythms to mine. Going back to the party winds, that were blowing just before I came.
In retrospect, gaps are a natural part of our growth. I experience something and take one step ahead. I am forward. Then, the other does the same, and they are a few steps in front of me. I learned not to reach any quick conclusions about who I walk with and who I don’t. So many, so often, surprise me.
This is it for now.
I’ll come to visit again soon.
Love you,
Me
While writing these Notes (I wish) I Wrote to Myself, I found myself bringing the teachings offered by my parenting journey and Near Death Experience into writing. The result is The Promise We Made: Three Universal Soul Promises We Made to Our Children 🙂
