Dearest Me,
Today I am writing to you with sadness in my heart. Nothing happened. All our loved ones are healthy and well. Maybe I should be walking with happiness, but growth comes with letting go. And letting go, even if by choice, is still sad.
As I grow, as I evolve and embrace the gifts the car crash, NDE and the deep and long healing journey it set us on, the one you are only starting to walk, many friends we had, are not as close as we used to be.
I get it. I am so clear in my path. So clear in what I do. Focusing on being precise to my heart’s knowing and the call I am sensing, sometimes (often) I would rather write than meet up.
I listen to my need to go to sleep early, and I don’t join them when they gather in the evening.
I choose to be attentive to our girls, who are growing and becoming centered knowing women, and I miss out on important events in friends’ lives.
I have my more challenging moments, painful or tiring days, and then, I rest and disconnect from the world.
Sometimes, life makes us grow apart. Sometimes growing makes us grow apart. It does not mean I don’t care anymore. I do. And then, within the choice of being attentive, I listen to my heart, as I hope they listen to theirs.
It is still sad. Sometimes lonely.
I think of you, still, barely walking, and I ask myself, would I make all of these choices to leap again if I had the chance to choose, as you do, from where you are? And I guess my answer is a clear yes to almost all the leaps I took, including the prices I am paying.
I wish to believe that if I am precise, then my friends, those good ones, the ones I hardly see, and miss, are also precise in their path.
The most challenging element of growth is often the focused walk forward and letting go of those walking a different path.
I love you. What great adventures lie ahead for you.
Me.
While writing these Notes (I wish) I Wrote to Myself, I found myself bringing the teachings offered by my parenting journey and Near Death Experience into writing. The result is The Promise We Made: Three Universal Soul Promises We Made to Our Children 🙂
