Spiritually Aware Parenting: How to guide children in being their true selves

As spiritual beings, life invites many of us to walk our days in greater awareness. As we enter our parenting journey, with the birth (adoption or other miraculous ways) of our first child, we can intentionally choose how we wish to parent our children.

Are we conscious parents?

Intentional?

Do we relate to positive or simple parenting perspectives?

Spiritually aware parenting invites us to walk conscious of soul choices. Conscious and aware of who we are, and who our children are – walking our essence.

As adults, who often forgot for a while who we are, the term spiritually awakened is often used as we need to awaken to our beauty.

Children, on the other hand, don’t need to awaken. Thus, I use the term spiritually aware.

Let’s take a step back and ask, what is parenting? What is spirituality, and only then combine these terms into a shared understanding.

What is parenting? Dictionary definition

The dictionary definition of parenting is “the act of raising/rearing/bringing up a child.”

What is spirituality? Dictionary definition

Spiritual is defined as “relating to deep feelings and beliefs” and “of, relating to, or consisting of spirit or soul, as distinguished from the physical nature.”

If you’re reading this post, you know parenting and spirituality are both so much more.

Redefining Parenting & Spirituality

I prefer to define parenting as the nurturing, guidance, and care of souls arriving on Earth until they become independent, present, and able in their own physical bodies.

As for spirituality, in the context of this discussion, I relate to definitions seeing it as the manifestation of one’s soul’s journey in his/her life here on Earth, in form, in a physical body.

This definition incorporates our relationship to our soul, our spirit, our higher guidance, together with that of Earth, our mother, holding us and nourishing us.

I often find that the most spiritual people I meet here on Earth are not necessarily those that meditate all day, go to retreats, practice yoga, communicate or channel, study ancient scripts, practice organized religion, or try to follow spiritual laws in their daily lives. These things can all be part of spiritual life. However, if we are not walking the path we wished to walk, they are not enough.

Spiritual life is reached by walking our journey here, on Earth, manifesting in denser forms, not by focusing on getting out of our bodies.

My understanding of Spiritually Aware Parenting was first shared, and in more detail in: 

Curious about my personal journey to defining Spiritually Aware Parenting? Chapter 5 in The Promise We Made Book is all about Spiritually Aware Parenting. Earlier chapters share my journey to spiritually aware parenting, and the following chapters offer details on the promises we made to our children…

Spiritually Aware Parenting is:

Following the above definitions, while writing The Promise We Made Book, I was guided to define

Spiritually Aware Parenting as the act of guidance and care for souls arriving on Earth with the purpose of creating the conditions for each soul to grow its physical vessel and spiritual conduit, so that it can walk the path it asked for, manifesting its soul’s journey. 

For clarity, let’s take one step further and break our parenting roles down into their elements. In everyday life the elements are intertwined, however, separating them can help establish a shared understanding.

Spiritually Aware Parenting includes:

(1) Care:

Providing physical sustenance and the nutrition needed by the body and the soul, such as hugs, warmth, and safety.

(2) Guidance on living on Earth:

Leading our children through the manual of playing, reading, writing, learning, communicating, finance, and cultural traditions and nuance. Let’s also include teaching them how to care for their bodies, their vessel, what they eat, how to exercise, maintain hygiene, etc.

(3) Conditions to flourish:

Creating the conditions for each soul that comes to us (either biologically, through adoption, fostering, or marriage, or through becoming a significant adult for a child) to flourish. To enable each soul to do what it came here to do, achieve what it came here to accomplish, for itself, for others, for our communities, and the Earth.

(4) Nourish their Connection to Source:

Provide guidance on staying connected to the soul’s source. Create the conditions that allow our child, the soul that chooses us as its parents, to consistently remember who it is and what it wants to do here and now, on this journey on Earth.

This does not mean that we, or our children, are constantly aware of our plan. It means guiding our children to connect to their own intuition and to their inner knowing. To stay centered. To trust what they know, to first search for the answer from within, not from others, even from us, their parents. Because although sometimes we have answers, other times what we know for ourselves may not necessarily be what is most precise for our child.

As parents, we teach by example. If we are not on our path (or on the way to it), there is no value in any guidance we try to provide for our children.

These last two elements, creating the conditions that allow the soul that came to us to flourish, and providing the guidance for the soul to remain aligned with the path it wished to walk, can be extremely challenging for many of us as parents. It’s not how most of us were raised, and being attuned to our inner knowing was not part of our curriculum. Neither were mindfulness, meditation, or our connection to Spirit.

Therefore, in order to be able to guide our children and create the conditions they need to flourish in accordance with their souls’ path and not with cultural and social conventions, we, their parents, must find our own center first.

As parents, we can’t guide if we don’t listen to what we know.

As parents, we can’t create the conditions for something that we don’t understand deeply.

As parents, we teach by example. If we are not on our path (or on the way to it), there is no value in any guidance we try to provide for our children.

Why is walking our parenting spiritually aware important now?

We are living through times of transformation, the souls coming to us are more evolved. The energy around us is shifting, and frequencies are rising.

We, parents and significant adults for children, are realizing that we did not receive some of the guidance we deeply needed when we arrived on Earth. The deficiency has led many of us on amazing and epic journeys of awareness and of knowing our true selves. But were they necessary? Could it have been different if we were given the conditions we needed to stay connected to our essence and walk our path?

Putting judgment to the side, what was, was, and the times were different. Our parents had a different set of tools than what is available to us today. We were not like the children coming to Earth today. We, who are already here, are invited to raise our frequency to align.

And our children? They arrived aligned. Agents of change. Agents of transformation. Huge souls that bring us so much wisdom. And the younger they are (in their physical bodies), the more of their essence they bring with them. Read more about who spiritually aware children are.

As children grow, they continuously present new challenges and opportunities for growth—both ours and theirs.

The Parenting Journey – A Journey of Growth

Parenting is one of the most beautiful elements here on earth, a journey of growth like no other journey in our human lives.

We each get a private teacher, or in my case, three amazing teachers. A journey I share more about in The Promise We Made Book, which you can learn more about here.

Parenting is an ever-evolving journey. As children grow, they continuously present new challenges and opportunities for growth—both ours and theirs.

For me, loving my three teachers means that I try to listen with all the senses I possess. Listen to what they need, both physically and spiritually. Listen to the direct and subtle guidance they provide. Every day, I try to accept their invitations for me to be my essence. Walk my path.

In my recovery and healing journey from the car-crash, they were my most significant motivators. I am blessed to be their mother.

Spiritually Aware Parenting is an element of this amazing part of our journey. It is the invitation to become who we are, in our essence, with all of our beauty. To be the love we all are so that we can provide guidance to our children by personal example.

What does Spiritual Parenting mean for you? 

That precious moment when our baby emerges from our womb (or that of our partner, or is placed in our hands) is always unforgettable, with each baby that joins the family.

Yet it is the first child that opens the journey for us as parents. At that moment, we become not only our name, our profession, our hobbies, gifts, abilities, and relationships.

We become a mother or a father. A title that, unlike others, appears in an instant and changes our lives forever. It is the most important role we will ever play. I know that all of you, reading this, know exactly what I am describing. It is one of those incredible moments that words cannot capture.

From that moment on, we set out on a new journey. Before we both had children, a dear friend of mine always said that “once you have children, you forever have someone in your life that is more important to you than yourself,” so she delayed having kids. From the perspective of my motherhood journey, I add, “what a blessing.” I know that she, now a mother herself, feels the same.

It’s about whether we allow ourselves to become children again – to play, and embrace playing, to frolic with them in the mud or the wet grass, to eat with our hands, and release social conventions that do not serve us.

Do we all set out on that journey of parenting?

Not necessarily. Becoming a mother or a father is like many other opportunities to expand, a door. Performing the caretaking, being a driver, a private teacher, the cook, the cleaning lady, the laundry professional (should I go on?) does not mean that we have entered the door that invites us to experience parenting as a journey. Those actions are extremely important and valuable for our children, but the parenting journey is not about them – it’s about us.

It’s about whether we take on the challenges they share with us and turn them into growth.

It’s about whether we learn to dance new dances, ones we did not dare try before.

It’s about whether we allow ourselves to become children again – to play, and embrace playing, to frolic with them in the mud or the wet grass, to eat with our hands, and release social conventions that do not serve us.

It’s about saying yes to the more profound invitations they bring forth, the connection with nature, the imagination within us that strives to be set free, the joy of storytime, and of just cuddling, being present at the moment.

And then, as they grow, it’s about learning to accept them as they wish to be and further creating, often together with them, the conditions they need to walk their path. And then the true invitation appears—saying yes to who we truly are. Healing what we came to heal. Learning what we, their parents, came to learn. Serving as we wished to serve. If we, their parents, don’t walk through the door they open for us (multiple doors if we have more than one child) they, our most significant others, will not fully walk through their own.

Parenting is one of the most profound journeys of life. It evokes every emotion, is driven by love, continuously evolving, and leaves us no choice but to grow.

The parenting journey is a unique transformational journey because it’s not about studying, learning, or reading. It’s about experiencing.

It’s about applying what we are taught through the example of others, advice, books, etc. We can’t just leave it in our notebooks—the constant interaction with our children invites living it. And when we live it, we are transformed.

If we, their parents, don’t walk through the door they open for us. They, our most significant others, will not fully walk through their own.

We are all familiar with the phenomena of the assertion of will around age two (The Terrific Two’s).

I am intentionally not calling it the terrible twos or tantrums—why label it with a name that holds such negative energy? To manage the assertion of will, we can read, and we can even follow advice. We can also observe and ask deeply, what is our child’s true need? We might take it one step further and ask what are they requesting from us, their mother or father.

Unfortunately, that still remains at the level of thought. Not to underestimate the importance of intention, it’s crucial for transformation, but it’s often not enough. Our small child’s expression of will becomes part of our journey when we apply what we observe, when we turn our understanding of the why, of the need, of our invitation, into action. When we apply it to our lives. And as parenting is a 24/7 job, it is about practicing today, tonight, and tomorrow, until the transformation takes place and is embedded not only in our thoughts or actions but in a change in our energetic vibration.

Returning to our two-year-old expressing their will—we might choose to respect that will and find ways to allow its expression (not in the middle of a store). We might find alternative ways for our child to release excess energy so that they will not need to express it in an exaggerated demonstration of will. We might find that a different way of spending time together, more or less touch, more or less play together, more or less time outside, or changing our family diet, brings a new balance to our relationship.

Why more or less?

I don’t believe in recipes for raising our children. One child needs more, and one needs less. One mom needs to transform in one element, such as being more attentive, while another needs to allow more freedom. No two dyads walk the same journey together.

Have you answered the invitation your child presented you?

Are you taking the opportunity offered by being a parent to grow and transform?

A Shamanic Contribution to Spiritually Aware Parenting

For me, shamanism enriches the above perspective.

Shamanism traces back to ancient wisdom. It is found in almost every culture and every region in the world. It brings forth the connection to nature, the elements, the four winds, and Spirit. It is a flexible, rich, and expanding, yet a core perspective to life. Shamanism meets parenting in many aspects.

Connection to nature

The connection to nature is an anchor in the shamanic vibe. It is a delicate attentiveness to the messages, information, and the reciprocal relationship with Earth. Children, especially at young ages before some forget, are drawn to nature. They know, what we parents often forget—that nature is a safe and nurturing place. They remember mother earth. They connect to the elements.

Dancing with nature, respecting it, allowing the deep connection, is a base in bringing shamanism home. See more about this invitation.

Connection to Spirit

Who is Spirit? How do we relate to all that is unseen around us? Children see the unseen. It is we, the adults, that have disconnected from our source during our lives. Bringing shamanism home, creating the conditions our children need to walk their path, to be who they are, is about enabling this connection.

Dancing with nature, respecting it, allowing the deep connection, is a base in bringing shamanism home.

It’s a tricky point, as the connections are not the same for all of us—we each walk a unique path. Some of us need to be connected to Spirit to do our life’s work. When I mediate healing in a shamanic energy session, I am a mediator. I am not the healer. Without the connection to Spirit, I am unable to mediate anything. Others, in other life jobs, don’t need this intensive connection.

What we all need is to be connected to ourselves. To know our truth, to look inwards when we are unsure. This centeredness, intuition, presence, soul walk, and inner connection are all inherent abilities our children bring with them in their backpacks when setting out on their trip to Earth. It’s in their toolbox, and we, as parents, have the responsibility to guide them to understand its importance.

See more about the invitation children offer us to reconnect to Spirit.

Grounding

Grounding, a familiar but not always perfectly understood concept, is the dance between our connection to Earth and our connection with Spirit.

Energetic grounding refers to our luminous presence in our physical body. To whether we are centered in our physical being, present in reality, and aligned with the Earth. If we wish to manifest our being here, we need to be grounded and present in our earthly life.

Our ability to perceive, not just at the literal layer, the physical manifestation of what happened, but also at higher layers of perception, becomes a daily tool.

In parallel, our connection with Spirit, often reflects in our ability to tune out of what’s going on around us in our earthly life, the noise, and connect to our source through intentional shamanic journeying or merely by being attuned to our intuition or gut feelings.

Souls arriving on Earth in this transformative time know this dance. They are able to come in and out. For them, and also for many of us, their parents, grounding does not mean being only within one’s body, but to be able to dance, to come in and out as needed—more about this dance at the end of my post on energetic grounding.

How do you manage the dance of Spirit and Earth?

Shamanic Concepts Applied to Spiritually Aware Parenting

My personal shamanic journey enriched my parenting in ways I did not imagine.

First, the path invited me into deep healing, the healing of patterns I carried, and wounds that limited my ability to live fully.

With every healing step I take, more of me, soul parts, and essence are able to come and be part of who I am, here, within my physical body.

Parenting takes a different course when we are whole ourselves. Ayni, the concept of right relationships, becomes so much richer. Our ability to perceive, not just at the literal layer, the physical manifestation of what happened, but also at higher layers of perception, becomes a daily tool.

When we parents do the work we need to do to become whole, our ability to create the conditions for each soul that comes to us to flourish, do what it came here to do, becomes clearer, as does our ability to provide our children the guidance to stay connected to their soul and source, to remember who they are.

What do you, as a parent, need to do to walk your life whole? To awaken your spiritual nature and become the spiritually aware parent your child chose to come to?

In a way, this article tries to capture many aspects of the topic. Most of the ideas shared here are detailed in The Promise We Made book. If you find it meets your heart, I invite you to learn more about The Promise We Made: Three Universal Soul Promises We Made to Our Children 🙂

And explore the FREE Parenting Awareness Journaling Exercises.